Back-to-School & Elul Message from Rabbi Rachel

Here in Seattle, we're in the throes of back-to-school season! My calendar is dotted with first days, orientation meetings, and curriculum nights. At home, my three kids have been sharpening pencils, ordering books, and collecting notebooks and highlighters, as they prepare in very tangible ways for the new school year. Two of them are entering new schools this year as they begin middle and high school, which feels a bit like entering into a whole new life-stage/landscape with each of them.

This week's parasha, Re'eh, knows a thing or two about standing at the precipice of a big step forward. This Torah portion is part of Moses's farewell speech to the Israelites, as they prepare to cross the Jordan River and build a new society on the other side. Moses is full of advice as to how the Israelites should live once they arrive in the land: he cautions the people to choose blessing over curse, to "take care to do / not to do" a huge number of positive and negative commandments, to observe festivals and holy times, and more.

Along the way, Moses says to the Israelites: "Banim atem ladonai eloheichem," "You are children of Adonai your God" (14:1). This makes explicit a central motif of Deuteronomy: that the relationship between God and "b'nai yisrael" is similar to a parent-child relationship. 

Of course, the central paradox of parenting is that parents must both hold tight and let go at once, as the ultimate aim is to raise children to become their own independent beings. One creative dvar torah — written by Chanan Rosin, of the Jerusalem band Majuda, and produced by BimBam — recasts some of the words of Re'eh as a song of guidance sung by a father to his infant twins. The paradox of parenting is evident in the lyrics: on the one hand, the father tells the children “soon you're on your own two feet,” and on the other hand, sings to them: “and you'll have from me, from me a helping hand.” 

This is the push-pull of parenting I am thinking about as a new school year begins for my own children as well. I will aspire to optimize for both support -- which will require me to lean in -- and for independence -- which might require me to step back. Parenting is a delicate dance... seeking a balance that has to be struck differently for each child, and also needs to be recalibrated constantly as they grow and change.

All of this applies even more so for parents who are launching kids to college this fall. With the challenges of this particular year in mind, Rabbi Naomi Levy (a colleague of mine from California) published a new piece of liturgy this week, entitled: “A Jewish Parent's Blessing for Sending a Child Off to College in These Challenging Times.” I found it beautiful and am pasting it below (*but consciously replacing the word “college” in the first line with "school," because I think these words of blessing can apply even more broadly than she intended):

May you go off to school* in peace,May it be a time of growth, learning and wisdom,A time of new friendships, adventure and fun.And through it all, may God bless you and protect you.Amid this time of hatred and division on campusMay you always be proud to be a Jew, connected to your People and your faith.Know that you are strong, thoughtful and courageous,Trust in yourself,And remember you are never alone.Turn to friends who will support you,Mentors who will teach and guide youAnd remember I am always here for you.May God bless the path you take,May all your efforts lead to success,May your studies never cease.May any challenges you face strengthen your character and your determination.May God bless your body with health and your soul with joy,May God watch over you night and day and shield you from all harm.May all your prayers be answered,Amen.

I offer this prayer for my own children, for all the children and students of this community, and really for all of us. 

This week, we stand together at a particular moment in time, gazing across the river into the territory not only of a new academic year but also a new Jewish year. (This Shabbat, Jewish communities everywhere will bless the new month of Elul, which begins in the middle of next week and will escort us to Rosh Hashanah). All of us wonder what the coming year will bring. As we make this turn towards the New Year, we embrace our role as children of the Divine Parent. From that vantage point, I pray that we will find that we have all the encouragement and support we need to grow and to explore; the freedom and independence we need to change and make change in ways that are good and healthy. 

Wishing each of us a Shabbat Shalom, Chodesh Tov, and a wonderful back-to-school season,

Rabbi Rachel Nussbaum